Fresh Cut Cynicism

Have you ever temped? It can be weird.

Most of the jobs I’ve temped at are strange.  Here’s a story from this past summer:

So, there’s this little insurance bureau out in Themiddleofnowhere, MO. This guy, Darb, was never in the office. He had me get the office key from the Napa Auto parts next door to let myself in every morning, then I was supposed to sit at the desk and take phone calls. At the end of the day I was to lock up and take the keys back to the dour little Napa man.  Side Note:  Napa man did not like doing this.  He made that very clear every morning and evening.

“Take phone calls.” That part of the above statement was laughable. Apart from Darb calling twice checking in to make sure I was still in the office, I took one phone call all day. Sue, from the Animal Health Center, wanted Darb to know that Mr. Davis’ cow did die of natural causes. Apparently, the vet did not detect bovicide, brutal cow rape or that one of the other cows had flown into a jealous rage and murdered one of their own. Thank goodness.

How did I occupy the other 7 hours and 52 minutes of my day? I downloaded Age of Empires II and frustrated the hell out of myself trying to fend off the Duke of Normandy (that guy’s a douche), read some of Eclipse (totally jumped on that bandwagon late) and updated my OneNote. I should have been working on my marketing materials, but there was no drive to do that.

The worst part of that office was that the koo koo kachu lady who works there had two ticking clocks on her desk. The weren’t synchronized.